Nine am on a bright sunny Sunday morning saw a group of bleary eyed ISH residents bundle into a mini van filled with three cooler boxes full of sandwiches, drinks, and ice-cream.  Minh, an alumnus of ISH, and Katie, our Director of Outreach and Strategic Initiatives, took us to the Smithsonian National Zoo, where we met up with more ISH alumni and embarked on a hike through the Park.

As we scrambled over some fairly hilly terrain and skirted along narrow riverside ledges, we discussed the best shows of Netflix, swapped ISH stories, and compared interests and occupations. The hike was followed by a picnic at the Smithsonian National Zoo, where we lounged on the grass and played some football. While talking to Minh, he said that he’d wanted to get the residents out of the House and give them an opportunity to meet ISH alumni and learn more about their fields and lives.

One of the stories to emerge was a verified story about how two roommates from different countries eventually became government representatives in their own countries, and after doing so brought their countries together in a trade agreement. “Some policy has definitely come out of ISH,” another alumnus tells me as we walk.

All this has made me reflect on what it means to meet people at ISH, and more generally, in DC. This is also partly due to the fact that it is now summer, and summer in DC means two things: One, a sudden outburst of activity –  everyday there is a new event or talk or reception, and it is hard to keep track of all that is going on in this city; and two, an influx of young and bright summer interns. At ISH, this means that the resident WhatsApp chat is always buzzing with invitations to different networking receptions (on top of fun events). Watching the new interns meet people as they begin navigating DC has reminded me of my own first days, and the amount of networking outside of ISH I felt I had to engage in (but didn’t) to find my place.

Networking in DC is a fact of life, but instead of clammy dread and an awkward competition to find the most things to say about the weather, I have found that it can mean something much less utilitarian. “It is about being interested in a person, finding a genuine connection with them,” as one of the new interns in my office tells me over lunch.

I have never thought of making friends at ISH as networking.  Friends at ISH often share such deep emotional connections, that to term what we have as networking seems almost demeaning. But I suppose networking, as recast above, has more in common with our friendships than I thought. Because both concepts, at their most basic, are about making that true connection with someone else, about being curious about their lives and thoughts. Thinking about it this way has made thinking about networking easier for me.

And on the subject of strong friendships at ISH: Today I moved out of ISH for the first time since I moved in. When I return in two months, most of my close friends in ISH will no longer reside at ISH. (Some, like my friend Tebogo, have already left for their home country permanently to do great things.) The past week has instead been a whirlwind of trying to make the most of our time together. This has included ping-pong matches, jam sessions, foosball and pool competitions, a lot of Pictionary, visiting an arcade-style bar, Safeway trips, kayaking outings, and staying up very, very late. Getting into the Uber for the airport and waving goodbye to a couple of them was surprisingly hard.

All this to say, I have come to the following conclusion. Whether you believe in networking or not, whether you even like meeting new people or not, life is a heck of a lot easier with good friends by your side.

Today, April 27, is Freedom Day in South Africa, marking the first time free and fair elections were held. I know this, because one of my closest friends in the house has just shared this over our breakfast of waffles and omelets. To mark the day, she has proposed that we watch a movie called “Sarafina!” this evening. Elsewhere in the house, a resident is apparently leading a morning yoga session in the Great Hall.

Learning how to live in a house with 90 other people was one of my biggest concerns. Over time though, I’ve found that it isn’t so difficult to adapt. ISH has permeated so much of my life that I’ve actually been meeting ISH residents even at work. During the World Bank’s annual Spring Meetings, I got to bring around some of my friends from the house who were attending.

As an introvert, I think one of the best methods to cope is to be adopted by an extrovert. You get a new forever-friend and you get to meet all of your forever-friend’s friends. They can also run interference when you don’t know what to say. But to be adopted, they kind of have to know that you’re up for adoption first. The most straightforward and effective way to do so is to just be present. I’ve enjoyed lounging around under the sun in the ISH gardens, and it’s where I’ve had some of the most interesting conversations with other residents. Like me, most of them come out on sunny weekday afternoons, seeking respite from life.

Sometimes, being present can also mean attending ISH activities. For example, we’re lucky enough to get group tickets to the African American History Museum from a kind sponsor. There is something remarkably unifying about learning about such a significant part of history together. The exhibition itself was stuffed to the brim with information. It was a remarkably emotional experience as well; it gave me the impression of many years of repressed feelings, carefully curated and waiting to be discovered.

Another tip for socializing that someone has given me is to always ask open-ended questions. Or, if you ask yes or no questions, to follow up with an open-ended question. For example, thanks to weekly Game of Thrones (GOT) screenings in the Great Hall, I’ve had the following conversation about ten times:

“Hey, are you going to the GOT thing?”

“No.”

“Oh, why not?”

“I don’t watch the show. I’ve read the books though.”

“Why not the show?”

“Um, because while I’m fine with reading about violence, watching it is a bit too much for me.”

“Wait…what?”

See? Open-ended questions build conversation (I’ll leave you to guess which one I am in that conversation.) For the people who did actually watch GOT though, the Hall was set up wonderfully with a large projection screen, free soda and popcorn. Residents have also started a game involving predicting which characters will die and which characters will survive.

But relatedly, I’ve found that finding common interests is another way to connect across cultures. For me, this involves anything to do with dancing. At the recent Africa Night, for instance, I loved learning about the different dances from each country from our own residents. (Dancing is just not traditional in my culture.) I’ve also found music to be very therapeutic; Friday night saw some of us jamming in the Great Hall. Making music in the Hall has been something of a staple of my life in ISH. These sessions are seldom planned, their participants constantly changing, but the fun remains.

Figure 1: Africa Night in full swing

Figure 2: Africa Night table display

Today is another sunny day. When I finish writing this, I’ll probably head in from the gardens to the dining hall to do some work. Later, some residents are planning to drop by a French Market event in Georgetown. Even later, I suppose I’ll watch the movie with the others. Just another day at ISH.

Another month; another cultural exploration. This time, ISH residents congregated in the Great Hall to celebrate Japan Night, courtesy of our own Japanese residents. The Hall was impressively decked out – of particular note was an impressive floral arrangement artfully arranged around the chandelier in the center of the room; a wonderful nod to the arrival of cherry blossom season in DC. With residents in colorful yukatas and a variety of colorful games and masks displayed, the Hall was transformed into a vibrant wonderland for a few hours, a delightful reflection of the dynamism of modern-day Japan.

No ISH party would be complete without food or drink and a good array of Japanese snacks and drinks were set out for residents. I watched as ISH resident Yudai attempted to explain what daifukumochi was to some residents before they, smartly, decided to try some for themselves. (According to Wikipedia: “Daifukumochi, or Daifuku, is a Japanese confection consisting of a small round mochi stuffed with sweet filling, most commonly anko, sweetened red bean paste made from azuki beans: But honestly, you should probably just try it for yourself.) You’ve maybe tried a Kit Kat before, but probably not in the flavours on display at Japan Night. There were also different flavours of Pocky sticks (long biscuit sticks covered in chocolate coating), and my personal favourite, Chocopies.

The party began proper when ISH resident Yukiko presented a very exciting video introducing Japan, giving us a taste of everything from tradition to its modern day progress. Then, with a deftness belying years of practice, new resident Mao demonstrated a traditional Japanese dance. While I don’t have the proper words to properly convey the skill she demonstrated in her dance, her movements were impressively grounded while still conveying a remarkable lightness.

If Mao’s performance brought a certain gravitas to the occasion, the next performance took all of us back to our childhoods. ISH was lucky enough to be graced by an adorably bubbly and bouncy Pikachu! (With many, many, many thanks to ISH resident Maki). (insert gif)

After pleasing the many ISH Pokemon fans with photos, Pickachu stuck around and helped to host a rousing game of trivia about Japan. Spoiler alert: putting your hands together in a prayer like position and bowing is not a Japanese greeting. I don’t know who actually won the game, but I’m pretty sure we all learnt quite a bit.  The end of the game was actually unclear because the last question revealed that quite a few of our fellow residents had birthdays close to that evening! The Japanese residents of ISH had very kindly arranged for cake (not one, but two!!) to be brought out in celebration of the occasion. It’s these moments of warmth and connection that make me grateful to live at ISH.

After that, the night turned into a karaoke party, beginning with a rousing rendition of the very viral “Pen Pineapple Apply Pen” song.

Somewhat ironically, or perhaps fittingly, the weekend also marked the departure of two of ISH’s Japanese residents, who returned to Japan to pursue jobs and school. Both were extremely dear friends of mine, and mine was a pain that every ISH residents comes to know at some point. When you live together, your friends see you not just in your no-makeup state, but also in pajamas-and-bedhead-fresh-out-of-bed-disaster condition, in all your horrid-day-at-work-and-therefore-done-with-life glory, in your stressed-out-and-in-need-of-shoulder moods… and the list goes on. So having two of them suddenly not around is unsettling, to say the least. I keep thinking one of them is going to be coming down the stairs, or that I’ll find them playing piano in the Great Hall, or playing Catan in the Dining Room.

I remember in particular one conversation over dinner, when we were talking about jazz bars.

“When you come to Japan, we’ll go.”

“‘When’? Not, ‘if’?” I asked, amused. As far as I’d known, I’d had no immediate plans to do so.

“Yes, when”, my friend replied.

So I suppose, even if seeing your friends leave is awful, having these friendships that you can be so certain about and confident in makes it all more than worth it in the first place.