The International Student House is an unflickering beacon of change. New residents cycle in twice a month and older residents shuffle out sporadically during each season as they continue to seek out professional success and personal satisfaction.

I recently began a new position as a Disability Integration Advisor for the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). FEMA has an ideology about adaptability fittingly referred to as being FEMA Flexible. The concept is simple, be aware of your surroundings, adapt to changing circumstances and adopt the most effective and ethical methods of accomplishing a task.

My position requires me to deploy to emergency zones and disaster areas across the country in an effort to coordinate disability integration as it relates to programmatic access, physical access and effective communication.

As with any new endeavor, discouraging thoughts and droplets of self-doubt are attempting to seep into my psyche. Nevertheless, I’ve learned that freedom can often be found within the folds of flexibility. With this in mind, I am reassured of my ability to withstand whatever winds may blow my way. Being flexible merely means that I may need to bend in order to accomplish my goals without having to break away from my primary objectives completely.

As I prepare for my first deployment, I do so with a tad of trepidation and a tremendous amount of tenacity.  I know that I am capable of conquering the challenges I will surely encounter. I am also curious and admittedly a bit nervous about the changes to come. I intend to embark on this new journey with several of my most trusted companions – creativity, charisma, courage, patience, persistence and faith. This crew has never failed me before and I am looking forward to using each of them to succeed in disaster situations and any future endeavors…or personal crises…or unexpected emergencies.

 

 

ISH residents tend to be pretty informed individuals. A casual conversation about art or culture can seamlessly turn into a discussion on global politics and international conflicts. These recent conversations, coupled with reflections from studying Peace and Post Conflict Reconciliation in Uganda and Rwanda, have led me to examine responses vs. reactions as a method of conflict resolution.

Over the years I’ve observed that emotions can be prone to sudden eruptions. These eruptions frequently disrupt relationships and can result in unforeseen consequences. A conflict between friends can easily emerge from a mistaken remark. A dispute between a government and its citizens or political opponents can deteriorate into a civil war with countless casualties. Whether we like it or not, conflicts can creep into every crevice of our lives and have the power to severely shape the world we live in.

Personally, I’ve made a conscious choice to respond rather than react to conflicts in my own life. What’s the difference? Well, I view responses through a prism of intentionality whereas I perceive reactions to be impulsive and ineffectual.

More specifically, reactions almost always require us to relinquish our power while simultaneously distorting priorities and one’s sense of purpose. When reacting in a conflict we are likely to be highly susceptible to whatever emotion that has been triggered by the situation whether it is fear, anger, frustration, confusion, guilt, shame, etc. If we are constantly reacting then inevitably someone else is controlling the situation via their actions or inaction. Reactions are made in the moment. They are steeped in spontaneity and lack strategic foresight and often pose barriers to sustainable solutions.

Contrastingly, responses are more results oriented. They incorporate your end goal or ultimate purpose/point. Thus, they are inherently proactive and self-directed. When responding to a conflict you consider how your next action will affect your primary objectives. You ask yourself questions such as:

• What is my main aim?
• What options and actions will actually lead to me calming or solving this conflict?
• What message do I want to send? Am I the right person to deliver this message? How can it be delivered receptively?
• Will this action get me any closer to my goals? If so, how? If not, what are the negative ways in which I might be affected?
• Is this even worth my time?
• How can I impact this situation in a way that will not only benefit me but will prevent others from dealing with this same conflict in the future?
• What can I do that will lead to an actual resolution rather than merely inflaming the situation?

It is important to note that responses do not require a tremendous amount of time. In many cases, the difference between a response and a reaction can be a few deep breaths. The distinction is simply acting with precision and purpose. This is particularly critical since conflicts are often injected with intense emotions that blur lines of consciousness, compassion and civility.

Simply stated, response equals intentional and impact driven actions. Reactions on the other hand equal in advert behaviors dictated/directed by the actions of others. So, the next time you’re in a conflict or feel conflicted about something, be purposeful in your actions and respond accordingly!

Congratulations! You made it. Welcome to the cheesiest blog post you’ll ever read. You may have accidentally stumbled upon this post, but alas, you are here and there’s no turning back. To hook you in, here’s a picture of a hot, new, Jazz-R&B-hip hop group that is crushing the music scene in DC: Daddy Boban and the Funky Bunch. Album drops June 2016. Featuring new tracks like, “Late Dinner Thief”,and “Weird Asparagus”.

ISH Residents hanging out

And now, back to business: I wanted to write about how “ISH” really embodies the sentiment of this House. Those exact three letters and the sound that they make when you say them together. For example, at the International Student House, we’re all adults…ish. We’re all students…ish. We date…ish. We meet in the lobby at 9…ish. We know how to network, cook, and be successful, young professionals in DC…ish. We’ve got life figured out…ish.

Not to mention, were all distinguISHed merit scholars, most of us are quite outlandISH, and some of us are FinnISH and speak SpanISH. (I couldn’t help myself.) Once I started thinking about how we are all in this “ish” phase in our lives and how much “ish” we all deal with on a regular basis, it hit me:

ISH is more than just a physical place, it’s a way of being.

It sounds so cheesy, but it’s true. This is essentially to say: we are in a very weird place in our lives. We’re in a gray area. We’re doing the limbo in the “in-between” space that comes right before entering into adulthood and after school (this place is also commonly referred to as the Front Page.) At the end of the day, we’re all just a bunch of kids, living in a crazy, fun house together, learning how to navigate the ups and downs of life, relationships, identity and everything in between. The best part about it is: we’re all learning how to do it together. It’s an incredible feeling to come home to a house of open-minded, brilliant, thoughtful humans that are going through similar life struggles and triumphs (i.e. figuring out how to be “normal” around your colleagues, winning first place in trivia at Bier Baron,  etc.)

ISH is a living, breathing thing. It’s a concept. It’s something that connects people that are thousands of miles away. It’s not just a brick building filled with old school furniture and bread rolls. It’s a mentality.  

I’ve lived at ISH for nearly two years. I have learned so much about myself and the type of life I want to lead as a result of my time at this one-of-a-kind place and the one-of-a-kind people I’ve met. During my time at ISH, I experienced a lot of personal “firsts.” I had my first full-time job (which came with a lot of other “firsts”); I fell in love for the first time, had my first real identity crisis, it was my first time living with three other people in the same room (and many, many more.) A lot of these “firsts” I experienced alongside my friends at ISH and I could not be more grateful for their companionship during this time in my life.

Without question, the greatest thing that I’ve learned at ISH is how sweet life can be when you are part of an intentional community.  Someone once said that the quality of your life is measured by the quality of your relationships. In my mind, this couldn’t possibly be more true. Community is really the only tangible thing in this world.

The community at ISH is special. It really is. It has impacted so many people—no matter the length of their stay. Most communities are defined by traditions that are continuously upheld and constant. ISH is fascinating because it has constantly changing traditions, evolving community values, and rotating residents that cycle in and cycle out. When you stop to think about it, the fact that ISH itself is more than just a place where people find temporary housing and go to bed at night is truly astonISHing. If a community can be fostered in a fluid environment with a lot of seemingly concrete barriers between people at ISH, it can be cultivated anywhere.

In just a few short weeks, I’ll be leaving the International Student House and will be propelling myself into the scary and cold world of adulthood. Even though I’m sad to go, I’m also extremely excited to take what I learned at ISH and create my own community elsewhere.  Now that I know how incredible it is to feel at home with a group of people who were once strangers—I can’t wait to extend that same practice of openness, kindness, and acceptance to others and build a village in this city.

I am going to miss (or should I say mISH) so many things about this House. I’m going to miss the late night talks over water in the dining hall, the weird smell of the library, the asparagus at Sunday dinner, Resident Salons and guitar nights in the Great Hall, the couches in the basement, this whirlwind time in my life, and the satisfied, happy feeling of coming home to good old 7B.

I will continue to cherISH this place and these people long after I move out of ISH. Like I said, it’s a mentality. It’s a way of being. The “ish” phase in my life isn’t necessarily coming to a close once I leave this place (and maybe it never will!). One thing I know for sure is that the memories I’ve made here, the things I’ve learned, and the connections I made will truly stay with me for the rest of my life. I hope to carry on the legacy of ISH in everything I do going forward and always put myself out there and get to know others in a genuine, real way because of the experiences I’ve had here.

I hope to bring with me the same open-minded, fun-loving, innovative spirit that has made this community such a wonderful place to live and grow.

To finISH off this very gushy blog post, I’ll close with a quote from Howard Thurman, who so brilliantly wrote: “Ask not what the word needs. Ask what makes you come alive…then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” To all of my ISH family members near and far: thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me come alive.  It is with your kindness, well wishes, and all of our memories that I dive head first into the next chapter of my life. Here’s to you, ISH!

It has been almost a month since I presented “Diversity in Unity: Reflections from Turkey” at our ISH-DC resident salon, with my other fellow Turkish residents. One of the main topics that we discussed were conditions of Syrian Refugees in Turkey and the new agreement between the EU and Turkey on funding Syrian refugees in the country . Since it is a really hot topic and many people from ISH, especially my European friends, were extremely curious, I decided to dig deeper and share more about this crisis. Hence, on April 27, I attended the Boren Forum’s Panel about the current refugee crisis. I learned  so many key facts about the crisis happening right now, but am ashamed how little I still know about it.

The first panelist was Mrs. Alina Haddad, of Doctor without a Border, a brave young women who accomplished so much such in women’s economic empowerment and humanitarian issues in Yemen. Alina took attention of the audience by explaining the problems that they encountered in Jordan, such as the difficulty of having access to fresh clean water. Jordan has one of the largest Syrian refugee population in the world. Nevertheless, they are world’s third drought country. Water is expensive. ‘If you cannot fill the water tank at your garden, you have to pay more to fill,’ said Alina. ‘And what happens if you just don’t have any money to fill that?’

Mrs. Burcu Erdogdu-Tuncer,  our second panelist, was a diplomat  from the Turkish Ministry of Foreign Affairs who currently serves as a Political Counselor at the Turkish Embassy in Washington DC. Mrs. Erdogdu-Tuncer provided a lot of up-to-date information about the TPC’s  (Temporary Protection Center) of Turkey, or generally known as ‘refugee camps’. Perhaps the most important fact about the camps was the number of refugees that live in there – only 270,000 people. The number of refugees that Turkey hosts alone are over 3 million, and everyday 3,000 people flee from Syria.

Turkey has provided $10 billion in assistance since the breakout of the crisis. This incredible amount of money not only makes the country the biggest donor, but it also puts an incredible economic burden on the government. Given the fact that the Turkish Lira has experienced the worst devaluation of all times in 2015 against the US dollar, and the biggest loser among other currencies, the large current account deficit and the large inflation rate, Turkey alone could not face the problem anymore. Hence the EU promised to provide  $3 billion  Turkey for assistance, and for what in turn, we will all see with time.

Most of this money, said Mrs. Erdogdu-Tuncer, is going to be used for the education of the refugee children in camps, and in overall Turkey to ensure that we are not creating a ‘lost generation’. Those children of today will be the adults of tomorrow who will rebuild their country, and their education is utterly important.

Mr. Omar Hossino, director of public Relations of Syrian American Council, is one of the most prominent activists in the US who is working with Syrian refugees on daily basis. Building bridges with congress and policy makers with refugees is a hard task but a must do. Mr. Omar discussed their work in the last couple of years, such as obtaining every Rabbi in the US (yes, every one of them) to persuade the decision makers to open borders for more refugees. Nevertheless, it is getting harder to persuade the leaders of society to have mercy with Syrian Refugees. For example, the mayor of Maryland has refused to talked with the SAC about the settlement of the immigrants.

However, the climax of the panel for me was when Mr. Mohammed Harba,  a Syrian refugee from Damascus whose family was resettled in Washington by International Rescue Committee, arrived and talked about his recent ‘survival’ from the war with his family. Mr. Harba started his talk with a warm ‘Shukran’ and his happiness could be read from his face. Nevertheless, he was feeling ‘guilty and ashamed’ being in the comfortable environment of DC while his friends and some of his family were still living in hard conditions back in Jordan. He continued with his story while touching each person’s heart in the hall. He talked about how he lost his 27 year old son in front of his eyes while they were crossing the border, how they were smuggled by one of those ‘death boats’. But he was trying to take our attention to one fact that Syrian refugees are ‘good’, ‘thankful’, and ready to provide economic assistance to the society if a chance is given. The ‘opportunity’ part of the panel was this fact.

I respect Mr. Harba from the bottom of my heart, and all other fathers that are living for their children, I gave him a big warm smile as I was applauding and he responded  with a big smile that I will never forget. Let’s hope that people like Mrs. Alina, Mrs. Burcu, Mr. Omar, Mr.Sushil, Mr. Yenal and Sinem will increase in number and we will learn more about the conditions of Syrian refugees from the Boren Forum and many others in order to understand and assist them better in the future.

The spring season is upon us! The sun is shining, birds are chirping and several ISH-DC residents are diligently preparing for final semester exams, projects and presentations. Anxiety about life after graduation or stress associated with long hours of studying can majorly affect the mental, physical and emotional wellness of students.

So, I thought it might be fitting to provide a rhythmic remedy for some of those spring semester stressers! Below is what I like to refer to as the Justified Playlist. Each set of songs are accompanied by an example of scenarios where motivational melodies or music to get you in a positive mood might be needed.

Stop, Study Time!

That’s right, I just referenced MC Hammer!

Need some study tunes that will motivate you to finish a paper or prep for a presentation? Take a listen to some of these songs:

1. A Change Is Gon Come by Sam Cook
2. Don’t Stop Believing by Journey
3. Motivation by T.I.
4. Closer To My Dreams by Gaople
5. Can’t Give Up Now by Mary Mary
6. Pressure by Jonathan McRenolds
7. Imagine by Nico & Vinz
8. The Show Goes On by Lupe Fiasco

Who’s Bad?!

Michael Jackson posed this question nearly 3 decades ago and it deserves a response! Confused? First, pause from reading this and go listen to the song then come back once you realize the answer.  Don’t have time? Fine I’ll just tell you. The answer is YOU! Bad by Michael Jackson made all types of people around the world feel good and to believe they were the best and baddest at whatever they chose to do.

This next set of songs is for anyone who needs to regain their confidence. Insecurities about the future or that project you turned in last week might have your spirits low and your overall self-esteem even lower. Not to worry, grab some headphones and begin to blast any of the following hits for some much needed ego boosters!

1. Diva by Beyoncé
2. I’m Coming Out by Diana Ross
3. Power by Kanye West
4. Conquer by Empire Cast
5. Lovely by Sarah Haze
6. When The Day Comes by Nico & Vinz

#Winning

Now that we’ve provided adequate motivation and have effectively elevated your ego, playlist preparations for graduation celebrations and end of the year festivities can commence!

Check out the songs below for tracks that will make you meaningfully reflect on a job well done this year, or for tunes to turn up and dance the night away in recognition of your scholastic successes!

1. Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool
2. Good Life by One Republic
3. Wing Again by Nicki Minaj
4. I Was Here by Beyoncé
5. How It Feels To Fly by Alicia Keys
6. Legend by Drake
7. Big Rings by Drake & Future
8. You Make Me Feel Good by Satin Jackets
9. Beautiful by India Arie
10. The Greatest by R. Kelly

Regardless of what songs you serenade yourself with this season, remember that when things get difficult sometimes you just need to dance it out and rock out to your own beat!  Create your own sounds this spring with your personality, perspectives and passion!