An Open Letter to the New Residents of  International Student House,

First things first, welcome to our ISH family! We are essentially the family from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, except we won’t pester you about being a vegetarian and none of us have lumps on our throats with our twins inside (at least that we know of). As all families do, we have our characters (the token crazy uncle, the grandpa that no one wants to get in political debates with, the lovable baby cousin, and so many more.) Each person in this House has their own unique story—but together, we make one big, happy (albeit at times somewhat dysfunctional) international family. We cannot wait to welcome you to our community. We all love each other here in this House and we will soon love you too!

To get some logistical matters out of the way, you should know the following:

1. Late dinners. Ah, so much to say. You can sign up for late dinners on the clipboard in the dining hall any time before 4PM or ask a kind soul to sign you up (preferably not on the Whatsapp group). Just know that you definitely do not want to ever miss Italian night or Mexican night, so plan accordingly. (You’ll thank me later.) To get a better idea of what meals are like at ISH, check out our Facebook page: Fine Dining at ISH or take a look below at a photo of a classic Italian night meal captured by House resident Robert Eklund. And one more tip: if you want to get seconds, don’t use your same plate twice. Just don’t. Trust me on this one or you’ll have Hassent to answer to!

2. Resident Salons. Every Sunday at 8 PM in the Great Hall, we gather as a community to listen to one resident (or several) present about a topic that they have expertise in, are passionate about and is of interest to other residents in the House. In line with the mission of the House, the Resident Salon series allows us to come together and talk about our thoughts and ideas, exchange stories and experiences, and learn from one another. In the past, topics have been: The Economics of Innovation, Sexism with Chinese Characters, Mass Incarceration in the US, Persian Film, and many more! Take a look at the picture below from a presentation given by Finland’s finest, Robert Eklund, on: “The Nordic Nerve System: How Geography Dictates Freedom, Prosperity and Foreign Policy Up North.”

3. Sunday “dinner.” Here’s the 411 on Sunday dinner: you’ll be asked to stand up and introduce yourself, 9/10 times you will be eating salmon, you’ll have great conversations and many laughs will be shared, and you will definitely spill ice all over yourself when you pour yourself a cup of water. Just be ready for it. Don’t miss these! And don’t be late! They are an important tradition in our House. When your time is over at the House, you’ll also say your goodbyes at Sunday dinner. If unconventional goodbyes are your thing, you’ll fit right in. Take a look at a picture below of Italy’s Marco Spreafico saying goodbye while standing on his chair at Sunday dinner:

4. Thursday nights at the Front Page. We’re convinced that we made Front Page on Thursday night a “thing.” You simply cannot pass up $2 coronas, 90s music, and awkward dance moves with your fellow residents on a weekday. Clear your schedules! (And while you’re at it, also pencil in trivia night at Bier Baron on Wednesdays at 7. This is a new tradition that is on the rise!)

5. Assassins. If you haven’t heard of this game before, you will once you move into the House. Essentially it’s a game of elimination. Each person has a target and is also someone else’s target. You are assigned specific tasks by the Mastermind that you have to get your target to do in order to successfully eliminate them. There are also mid-game challenges, riddles, and battles. I’ll leave it at that (intentionally not including any pictures so you don’t have an edge on the competition when you move in!)

6. ISH Running Club! I have to admit there is some bias here. As the only *consistent* member of the ISH Running Club for about a year now, I am in desperate need of more running buddies! DC is an amazing place to run, with a lot of great outdoor running trails and scenic spots. If you don’t believe me, read former resident Adam Hannah’s post or take a look at the pictures below.

7. Music in the Great Hall. Some of the greatest memories I’ve had at ISH have been during evenings when we’ve decide to just hang out, play guitar and sing in the Great Hall. The weekend trips, mini ISH adventures and nights out are all a lot of fun (and are when so many insiders are born), but the quiet nights are what really make ISH feel like home.

Last but not least, I’ll leave you with this: living in the House is truly what you make of it. These people will surprise the hell out of you with their life experiences and how much they know, make you feel and insane amount of happiness and joy, and will be there for you to boost you up on your toughest days … if you let them! Open yourself up to everything that this House and these people have to offer, and trust me, you won’t be sorry that you did. In the first few days, the House can be a bit isolating but if you take the plunge and let others see who you are, you’ll make some of the greatest friends you’ll ever know and discover pieces of yourself along the way. At least I did. J

I know I speak on behalf of the entire House when I say that we cannot wait to meet you and welcome you into our crazy, one-of-a-kind family!

All my love,

Katherine

It is that time of the year again. The period where residents in the house feel so connected, like they have known each other for years, but at the same time have to end their internships, exchange programs in DC, and have to say good bye to their colleagues, class mates and most importantly, the people who they have been sharing their room and house with. From my experience, I know how hard it can be to be close with someone and loose them, because it really does feel like you are loosing them. Meeting new residents in the coming semester will feel like you are betraying your old room or housemates. I can assure you that you don’t have to worry about loosing your good friends. In the past year I have been reuniting with ISH friends in London, Milan and in my hometown Rotterdam. I will meet with another ISH friend soon in Amsterdam, so the connection continues.

This year has been crazy. Ending an internship at the Dutch Embassy in DC in March and coming back to DC as a student. The transition was so different. Unfortunately, less quality time with the house and the residents, because there is so much to do and to read to prepare for class. I remember myself being afraid after the first week of class. It was so much, so fast and so different than it is back home in the Netherlands. I was questioning myself: “Would I still be able to finish this program and graduate?”, “Did I underestimate the master program?”. All these questions started to fly around in my mind. Meanwhile, professors, friends and family were encouraging me to keep believing in myself and that it will be a matter of time for me to get used to the different system of education, and as they said, it did take a month, but after those four weeks I started to be confident again and believe in myself. When I look back at the semester now, I must say that I had a great time as a student in DC. I am used to the U.S. system of studying and it feels like I have been studying for years in the States. I have learned so much and met a lot of people who have became my friends. The international family is getting bigger.

2015 brought me a lot. To keep believing in yourself, even when things get so bad that you don’t know which road to follow. Every road you follow with bad or good decisions, will make you the person, as who you are today.

In his recent article in The New York Times, “Why Giving Back Isn’t Enough,” Darren Walker, current president of the Ford Foundation, argues that “giving back” is necessary, but not sufficient. Walker explains that while feeding the hungry is among our society’s most fundamental obligations, we should also question why our neighbors are without nutritious food to eat. As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Philanthropy is commendable, but it must not cause the philanthropist to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice which make philanthropy necessary.” In short, giving back cannot substitute addressing the root causes of inequality in our country.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently, mostly because it’s the season of giving and I spend the majority of my days thinking about how to measure social impact. Not to mention, my roommate from South Africa at ISH came home with me to New Jersey for Christmas and the two of us singlehandedly started an epic Christmas dinner debate about racism and inequality in the US. Given that the majority of my family members are conservative and outspoken, the conversation was eye opening to say the least. Ever since then, this article and our conversation has been on my mind.

When I first started my job, I read a lot about the history of philanthropy in the United States. I was surprised to learn that formal philanthropy dates back to 1889, when Andrew Carnegie drafted a charter at the peak of the Gilded Age, at a time when inequality in the US had hit extreme levels. Carnegie and many others argue that inequality on a grand scale is an unavoidable condition of the free-market system. (I have many thoughts on this. Likely a future blog post!)

I agree with Walker’s point that addressing the systematic issues that perpetuate human suffering is crucial for global development. However, I also believe that too often we neglect to question our own circumstances and the role that we play in the system. As Walker explains in the article, we should seek to bring about lasting, systematic change, even if that change may adversely affect us. I think that philanthropy and even the concept of “helping” can be dangerous, insofar as it removes the responsibility to question why the system benefits some and not others. As Walker explains, as a nation, we need more investment in education, but not without questioning educational disparities based on race, class, and geography.

Walker argues that philanthropy can no longer grapple with what is happening in the world, but also how and why.  The system and practice of philanthropy in the US needs to be restructured. I agree wholeheartedly with this point and agree that we must prioritize empowering all people to be part of this process. As Walker explains, we should ensure that the voices of those affected most by injustice—women, racial minorities, the poor, religious and ethnic minorities and LGBTQ individuals—help decide where and what philanthropy goes towards, not simply receiving whatever philanthropy decides to give them.

However, I believe that allowing those who are affected by injustice to weigh in on how and what philanthropy is being used for is—again, simply not enough. We must first shift our mindsets to redefine those to whom we “give” and “help.” And even the concepts of “giving” and “helping” themselves.

The concepts of “helping” and “giving” are inherently based on inequality. They do not represent a relationship between equals. When you help, you use your own strength to help those of lesser strength. When you give, you may inadvertently take more away than you could ever provide. Giving and helping are all about ego. Not to mention, helping incurs debt. When you help someone, they owe you. Serving on the other hand is mutual. When you help, you feel satisfied. When you serve, you feel grateful.

Service is a relationship between equals. We all draw from our experiences and we all have something to contribute. Service serves us and others. Service rests on the basic premise that the wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others. Fundamentally, service requires respect for all people and the acknowledgement that we are all one degree away from tragedy. When we choose serving over giving, we are able to start reimagining philanthropy and can begin to question and address the root causes of inequality in our country. Every person is equal in dignity, and when given equal access to rights, resources and opportunities, there can be significant impact.

Giving back is not enough. Instead, let’s invest in each other. Only then can we unleash our power to lead our own change and work on behalf of the dignity for all.

As always, thank you for reading! I wish you a very happy and healthy New Year!

 

Greetings! I write to you from the Great Hall of the International Student House. I’m currently snuggled up under a blanket next to the fire, sporting pink striped fuzzy socks and reading Anne Marie Slaughter’s Unfinished Business. I started jotting down some thoughts in my journal—but then I thought, who better to share them with than my loyal followers on the ISH blog (Hi Mom!).

Lately, I keep having moments where I think about how sad and nostalgic I am going to feel when I move out of ISH (roughly 25-30 years from now… just kidding!). I know that I am going to reflect back on my current life and think about how amazing it was, mostly because I lived at ISH and had the opportunity to meet such brilliant people. Thinking about how “future me” is going to feel has encouraged me to be more present and make time every day to appreciate and celebrate all of the big and small moments of my life.  I recently read an article in The New York Times about practicing gratitude and it really resonated with me. Essentially the author made the point that gratitude breeds happiness; happiness does not breed gratitude. It seems pretty obvious: choosing to f ocus on the good things instead of the bad things makes us happier (and also fatter according to this new study.) No wonder Thanksgiving is associated with eating to our heart’s content!

For me, practicing gratitude on a daily basis is no easy task. I take my education, my privilege, and my mental and physical health for granted more than I’d like to admit. Aside from singular moments of appreciation, it’s not until I am deprived of my usual comforts or actively put myself in someone else’s shoes that I truly appreciate how lucky I am.

A few weeks ago, a group of ISH residents participated in a “Sleep Out” to raise awareness and fundraise for the Covenant House, a shelter for homeless, disconnected and exploited young people living in Washington, DC. We had the opportunity to meet with current and former residents of the Covenant House and hear their stories before sleeping outside of Freedom Plaza. We were all incredibly moved by the residents and by the stories of those who were participating.

When we were all laying in our sleeping bags later that evening, one of my fellow House resident explained that the he enjoyed the discussion because of “how refreshing it was be taken out of your own world view.” I couldn’t agree more. I came away from the Sleep Out feeling more knowledgeable about how pervasive youth homelessness is in DC and grateful for so many things in my life. We are all especially grateful for all of the support we received from Board Members who donated to our team and for Linda Harper who organized the event and slept out with us!

Having just celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope this post serves as a personal reminder to always focus on the good in life, to be grateful for all of the big and small moments, and to constantly be present and open to new experiences and worldviews.

It’s that time of the year again, where the weather starts getting colder, where finals are about to arrive, where students like me are waiting for the sales to show up. It is also the month of being “thankful”, where we come and eat together with friends and family, a time called Thanksgiving. What is Thanksgiving actually? Thanksgiving is a national holiday which is mainly celebrated in Canada and the United States. Originally it was celebrated as a day of giving thanks for the blessing of the harvest (gathering ripe crops from the fields) and of the preceding year. Thanksgiving has historical roots in religious and cultural traditions. Nowadays the culture continues and gathers people together.

I had the honour to be invited at my friend’s place with his family. It was a classic American Thanksgiving experience. Eight siblings of his mom were present, together with their sons and daughters. Along with them were their children, so you can imagine that we were with more than 50 people in the house. I loved the experience of being within an American family to see what this day is about. What surprised me at first was that I had to be ready around noon to go to his parent’s place to start dinner at 4PM – 4 PM! I did not understand that concept at all. Back home [Rotterdam, the Netherlands] the earliest we have dinner is around 6 PM. Then, my friend explained to me that the food is so much that we need that time, and next to the food it is all about meeting the family or friends and having quality time with them. The dinner was great, full of the typical Thanksgiving dinner list, which is mashed potatoes, stuffing, of course the turkey and much more. After dinner we had a great choice of desserts. I kept some space in my stomach so I could enjoy every round.

I definitely recommend going to an American family during Thanksgiving or Christmas, since the experience itself is very nice. They are opening their doors and are perfect hosts so you don’t even have to wait for their invitation!

After this family dinner I went to another Thanksgiving event with my classmates from the International Legal Studies Program. That was an international version of Thanksgiving, where everyone made something from their own home country. You can imagine that after that day, I was more or less done with eating for some days.

Lastly, to answer the question I am asking you. I am thankful of being in the United States and experience this amazing time and sharing this with the international family I have here, at ISH and also at my University. I am thankful for the support of my parents, my family and friends back home and elsewhere around the world. I am thankful for myself, to listen to the voice within and taking risks to come to the US, to study, with all the traps and difficulties involved. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. : )

Let’s be thankful every day for being healthy, having a shelter and being happy. Let’s also try to share this thankfulness with others around us, since we do forget sometimes how thankful we actually should be.